Groupon Delivers a Healthy, Robust Baby Boston Groupon

Catch those gurgling goo-goo noises emanating from your computer speakers? Oh wow, you better see a psychiatrist about that! Hah hah, just kidding. No, that cooing that you hear is the dulcet sound of Groupon Boston, who was born at midnight on March 16, 2009. Right out of the Interwomb, Groupon Boston started working on behalf of Boston-area small businesses and consumers, offering a $40 voucher at the Brighton, MA restaurant Zocalo Cucina Mexicana for just $20. Smartypantses that they are, Bostonians responded with gusto, buying up 78 Groupons so they could enjoy mucho mas mole por menos.

Lil’ Baby Boston Groupon has had a smashingly successful first week on earth, with each daily deal scoring way more purchasers than necessary to make the deals tip over. We’ve got a community manager on the scene to nurture Boston Groupon into a modern-day Hercules of daily discountdom, as well as some sales nannies who are working tirelessly to secure those awesome deals that Chicago Groupon fans have become so used to by now.

“How come Boston, and not my town?” you’re probably wondering. Well, Boston has a ton of universities that churn out thousands of web-savvy graduates, some of whom even go so far as to marry their computers. It’s got a diverse, vibrant local business scene. And perhaps most importantly, we are exceedingly Old School patriotic — so patriotic, in fact, that we come to work every morning riding horses in the manner of Paul Revere, and dump a box of tea into the nearby Chicago River. Horse-riding and tea-dumping are activities that staffers must endure in order to enter Groupon HQ; anyone who fails has to spend the morning in front of our building, locked in wooden stocks and subject to the mockery of tomato-wielding colonists. So we pretty much had to go for Boston, or else we would have felt vile and seditious.

Worry not, Rest-of-America: We’re totally on board with the Brangelina/OctoMom modus operandi when it comes to birthing Groupon babies — i.e., more equals better. So expect more Baby Groupon news in the next few months.