Meet the Runners

Somewhere out there, there’s a mighty pack of wolves running out on the range or wherever wolves are known to run. Similarly, those training for the Run Free Race are feeling the cry of the wild within them and are howling. Howling for encouragement. Howling for determination. Howling to say, “Help, I’m lost. Someone please find me.”

Meet a few featured Groupon athletes participating in the Run Free Race:

TimTIM

When asked to describe him in one word, most people would say “Tim.” When asked to describe him in TWO words, they would say “Runner. Tim.” That’s really all you need to know about what a dedicated athlete Tim is. But just for fun, here are some other things this born runner is into: illegal fireworks, HD DVDs, Ben and Kate fan fiction, bee keeping, bee giving, spelling bees, spelling the word “bees,” sneaking up on people, and running.

Favorite Quote: “B-E-E-S. Bees.”

NohaNOHA

Noha became a runner at such a young age that some say she hit the ground running. In reality, Noha hit the ground at a brisk walk, accelerated to a light jog, and then finally began running because she believes in easing into strenuous activity to avoid injury. When she’s not running, Noha enjoys the finer things in life: fine-tip pens, fine grains of sand, fine wines, and paying parking fines. Noha’s goal in this race is either to win or to show people that winning isn’t important.

Favorite Quote: “Don’t go chasin’ waterfalls.

KevinKEVIN TURK “I DIDN’T ASK FOR THIS” TURK

Kevin would like to begin by telling everyone that his favorite food is rice. He loves all kinds, and as a result, has accidentally signed up for countless “races” by carelessly typing “rices” instead. The Run Free Race is a perfect example. Kevin feels he’s been tricked into participating but is forging ahead because he heard the winning prize happens to be a bowl of tasty rice. To prepare for this race, Kevin is adhering to a strict regimen of long grain, jasmine, and 5Ks he’s accidentally entered.

Favorite Quote: “I didn’t ask for this!”

CaseyCASEY

Casey lives to dance. Since childhood, she’s been entering—and winning—dance competitions across the country. That’s why it’s so important for everyone to pretend the Run Free Race is a dance marathon. We told her it was one so she’d agree to do it, and if she finds out, she’s probably going to get really mad. So if you see this talented dancer cutting a rug down the racecourse, please hold up a sign that says “10” and try to look like whatever a dance judge looks like. Casey, if you’re reading this, we’re just kidding. It’s totally a dance marathon, so just keep on dancing.

Favorite Quote: “All the world’s a stage. Especially this stage.”

brianneBRIANNE

You can’t really talk about Brianne without mentioning her biggest passion in life: Season 4 American Idol runner up Bo Bice. Ever since Bice lost to Carrie Underwood in 2005, Brianne has identified herself as “A Bo Bice fan first and everything else second.” Her main ambitions to win the Run Free Race are to either get Bo Bice’s attention or to win enough prize money to buy Bo Bice. Brianne wishes to thank her mom and dad in Washington and her future husband, Bo, for their enduring support of her training.

Favorite Quote: “God I love Bo Bice.”

DanDAN

The Run Free Race will be Dan’s 100th marathon. Dan’s years of truly staggering athletic feats recently prompted us to ask him, “Do you think you’ll ever stop?” After staring at us for what felt like at least five minutes, he replied, “If we stop we die, Wildcat.” At this point, we realized Dan has modeled his life after the city bus from the movie Speed. To help Dan prepare for the race—and live his dream—we’ve equipped him with a speedometer that always says 51mph and we inserted an unfinished bridge that he’ll have to jump to reach the finish.

Favorite Quote:  “Pop quiz, hotshot. There’s a race going on. Once I go 50 miles an hour, I’m in the zone. If I drop below 50, I might not win. What do I do?! What do I do?!”

SAMSam

Born to two marathon-running parents, Sam is approaching this race with great confidence. He claims he’s a clear favorite to win because he’s “going into the family business” and really shouldn’t have to train much. Asked what he was doing to prepare for this race, Sam said, “Being me,” and then he practiced roughly 30–40 finish-line victory gestures. When he’s not competing, Sam lists his favorite hobbies as eating party subs and telling people, “I bet you $20 I can eat this whole party sub.”

Favorite Quote: “My business is eating party subs, and business is good.”

MattMATT

What can you say about Matt that hasn’t already been said about Oprah Winfrey? He lives in Chicago, he has a history of running marathons, and every toilet in his house is made of gold. Matt’s hobbies include an amateur dog-grooming business and anonymously calling his high school’s “Most Likely to Succeed” winner to yell, “Who’s laughing now?”

Favorite Quote: “When you sit on a gold toilet, everything else just falls into place.”